Vlastimil Vohánka: What I said was that it would be foolish to marry a person with the idea that one will change the person with respect to his or her attributes that you find presently unacceptable. What you took me to be saying is also true: Do not marry someone who thinks she can change YOU. (I should have said that.) The fundamental underlying truth is that people are what they are and do not change except in superficial ways. Character is immutable. (Schopenhauer) The few exceptions prove the rule. For example, if you discover that your inamorata is irresponsible with money and cannot be trusted with a credit card, you would be a fool to marry her with the idea you will reform her bad behavior. You might, of course, but don’t bet on it. You should not make bad bets with respect to important matters such as your long-term happiness.
CORROLARY: In matters marital, don’t think with your dick. Every man has two heads, a big head and a little head. The one is for thinking, the other is for ‘linking’ (copulating.) Don’t confuse their respective offices. Let’s say you are thirty and you meet an 18-year-old ‘hottie.’ She drives you crazy sexually speaking. You succumb to the illusion that the *summum bonum* can be had burying your bone in her morning, noon, and night. You marry her. Time passes. She is now 28 and still into drinking and dancing, but you are 40, pot-bellied, and more into thinking and trancing. One day you come home from work to find her gone, along with all the furniture, not to mention the $100 K she stole from a joint account. We all know men to whom something like this has happened.
Excellent advice thanks Bill. Shared with someone who is going through a painful break-up who appreciated it a lot.
Thanks, Dmitri. Facebook addenda:
Vlastimil Vohánka: What I said was that it would be foolish to marry a person with the idea that one will change the person with respect to his or her attributes that you find presently unacceptable. What you took me to be saying is also true: Do not marry someone who thinks she can change YOU. (I should have said that.) The fundamental underlying truth is that people are what they are and do not change except in superficial ways. Character is immutable. (Schopenhauer) The few exceptions prove the rule. For example, if you discover that your inamorata is irresponsible with money and cannot be trusted with a credit card, you would be a fool to marry her with the idea you will reform her bad behavior. You might, of course, but don’t bet on it. You should not make bad bets with respect to important matters such as your long-term happiness.
CORROLARY: In matters marital, don’t think with your dick. Every man has two heads, a big head and a little head. The one is for thinking, the other is for ‘linking’ (copulating.) Don’t confuse their respective offices. Let’s say you are thirty and you meet an 18-year-old ‘hottie.’ She drives you crazy sexually speaking. You succumb to the illusion that the *summum bonum* can be had burying your bone in her morning, noon, and night. You marry her. Time passes. She is now 28 and still into drinking and dancing, but you are 40, pot-bellied, and more into thinking and trancing. One day you come home from work to find her gone, along with all the furniture, not to mention the $100 K she stole from a joint account. We all know men to whom something like this has happened.