Some of the Dharma, p. 240:
Sunday Jan 30 [1955] . . This is it . . . the day I decide to go forward instead of backward . . . will stop drinking, cold turkey (if I can do it) . . . Drink is the curse of the Holy Life — alcohol is the curse of Tao — I'll be like Reverend Henry Armstrong now — I put on the cloth this morning in the yard — (damn the cloth) — I felt its dignified hugeness on me — This, coupled with No Publishing and No Loosing of Sexual Vitality, would return me to the original pristine state of the child . . . 6 year old Ti Jean seeing the red sun in the snow windows of Lowell wondering "Qui c'est ca, moi?" (O what difference does it make?) — Now I'll go to Nin's and help with the new house and prepare for Summer & Fall in Mexico in a grass hut — now I'll imitate the action of the child and like water rule the low valleys of the world — Adoration to the Child.
[. . .]
Armed with continence, and with sublime childlike solitariness, and with unwasted vitality, 33 years old, I go reveal the holy life to men who perish for lack of knowledge.