This from a reader:
. . . I am now in my senior year as a philosophy major, considering strongly the prospect of grad school. However, I remain deeply frustrated with myself with regard to my academic discipline and intellectual ability. Instead of philosophy making me proud–which some claim it does–it humbles me. But it does so to such a degree that I feel inadequate. So I want to ask what the remedy is for these frustrations. Also, have you encountered this, specifically as an undergrad, or in grad school? I feel as though I care too deeply about philosophy to 'give it up'. I will do it regardless. Though I've been told I have some ability, I wonder if pressing on to grad school is the way to go given these frustrations.
It is very difficult to give helpful advice to someone with whom one is not closely acquainted. But here are some things to consider. Evaluate them critically, test them against your own experience, and get the advice of others.
1. If you have a genuine passion for some field of study or activity, and fail to pursue it out of concern for practicality, then you may live to regret it. The harder heads will tell you that philosophy bakes no bread. They are right, of course, but then man does not live by bread alone. I know people who have regretted 'playing it safe' in life. I myself decided to take the risks, pursue my dream, and am very happy as a result. On the other hand, you must proceed without illusions about possible outcomes if you decide to devote years of study to a subject that most likely will not pay off in economic terms. Ending up an academic gypsy or an adjunct faculty member are decidedly suboptimal outcomes. But of course it depends on the individual and extent of the 'dues' he is willing to pay to play 'the blues.'
2. Go to graduate school only if you receive a full fellowship and tuition remission. Do not pay out of your own pocket (unless you are independently wealthy) or take out any loans. You did not say whether your career goal is an academic position or whether graduate study would be for personal enrichment. If you have an all-consuming passion for philosophy and are really good at it, then you might consider going into academe to make your living from philosophy. But this is a long shot. Good tenure-track positions are hard to find, competition for them is ferocious, and the market can be expected to worsen. And even if you obtain a tenure-track job that still leaves you with the final hurdle: tenure. If you are denied tenure, then not only are you out of a job, you are to some extent 'damaged goods.' There is quite a lot of material and links for you to explore in my Academia category, some of it depressing. Take it all cum grano salis.
3. Whether or not you have any business pursuing graduate study in philosophy depends on whether you have any philosophical aptitude. This is a question only your professors can answer for you. Try to persuade them to give you an honest and blunt appraisal.
4. The question of self-confidence is a difficult one. There are those who have far more of it than they are objectively justified in having. We have all met people like that. But it it is often one's self-confidence, even if out of proportion to one one's actual abilities, that contributes to success. You have to believe in yourself to accomplish anything and to get to the pont where your self-confidence is objectively justified. A certain amount of 'overbelief' is pragmatically useful.
How improve self-confidence? By extremely hard work, monomaniacal focus, and total dedication. There are plenty of examples of people of modest abilities who accomplished something by dint of single-minded commitment.
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