A: "We were bishops of opposite color."
B: "Sorry to hear that. In our case the union ended when she discovered I had insufficient mating material."
C: "We just couldn't get it together. Whenever she wanted to make love, I was busy making Luft."
D: "She blew her stack when I gingerly brought up the topic of back-rank mate."
E. "She got tired of my excuses, especially 'Sorry, honey, not tonight. After a hard day at the office I'm weaker than f7.'"
F. "The bitch had a way of putting me in psychological Zugzwang: no matter what I said or did, I only dug my hole deeper."
G. "In bed one night she called me a perv when I muttered something about the Lucena position.
H. "Her frigidity did us in. She'd allow a check but never a mate."
I. "She said I lacked ambition citing my penchant for underpromotion."
J. "We fought like knights and bishops."