{"id":4176,"date":"2018-10-05T14:07:05","date_gmt":"2018-10-05T14:07:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/maverickphilosopher.blog\/index.php\/2018\/10\/05\/some-19th-century-rules-for-social-intercourse\/"},"modified":"2018-10-05T14:07:05","modified_gmt":"2018-10-05T14:07:05","slug":"some-19th-century-rules-for-social-intercourse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/maverickphilosopher.blog\/index.php\/2018\/10\/05\/some-19th-century-rules-for-social-intercourse\/","title":{"rendered":"Some 19th Century Rules for Social Intercourse"},"content":{"rendered":"

The wise man abstains from an excess of socializing as from an excess of whisky; but just as a little whisky at the right time and in the right place is a delightful adjunct to a civilized life, so too is a bit of socializing. But he who quits his solitude to sally forth among men must do so with his maxims at the ready if he values his peace of mind.<\/span><\/p>\n

Herewith, a faithful transcription from a 19th century work, The Corsair<\/span><\/span><\/a>: A Gazette of Literature, Art, Dramatic Criticism, Fashion and Novelty<\/span>, Volume 1, <\/span>Nathaniel Parker Willis<\/span><\/a>, Timothy O. Porter <\/span><\/a>1839,  831 pages. (Obviously, <\/span>not to be confused with the Danish publication that pilloried Kierkegaard):<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Never discuss politics or religion with those who hold opinions opposite to yours; they are topics that heat in handling, until they burn your fingers; never talk learnedly on topics you know, it makes people afraid of you; never talk on subjects you don't know, it makes people despise you; never argue, no man is worth the trouble of convincing, and the better your reasoning the more obstinate people become; never pun on a man's words; it is as bad as spitting in his face. In short, whenever practicable, let others perform and do you look on: a seat in the dress circle is preferable to a part in the play. — This is my rule<\/em>.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

A pretty good rule, one of what Schopenhauer calls Weltweisheit<\/em>, worldly wisdom. In a fallen world, one needs such maxims. Did you know that Schopenhauer believed in something like Original Sin despite his being an atheist? <\/span><\/p>\n

"Never argue, no man is worth the trouble of convincing."  This is sage advice for almost all social situations.<\/span><\/p>\n

I would add: never in general correct anyone's grammatical, logical, or factual mistakes unless it is your job to do so; the exception of course is serious discourse among serious and well-qualified people. Avoid talk of money if you don't want to be taken to be either poor-mouthing or bragging. Sex-tinged jokes can get you into trouble.  And so on.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Pascal<\/a>Should we go all the way with  Pascal? \u201cAll of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.\u201d Blaise Pascal, <\/span>Pens\u00e9es<\/a><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

To paraphrase a line often attributed (rightly or wrongly) to the cowboy wit, Will Rogers:<\/span><\/p>\n

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 <\/p>\n

Never miss an opportunity to keep your mouth shut.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

That of course is an exaggeration. But exaggerations are rhetorically useful if they are in the direction of truths.  The truth here is that the damage caused by idle talk is rarely offset by its paltry benefits.<\/span><\/p>\n

My mind drifts back to the fourth or fifth grade and the time a nun planted an image in my mind that remains.  She likened the tongue to a sword capable of great damage, positioned behind two 'gates,' the teeth and the lips.  Those gates are there for a reason, she explained, and the sword should come out only when it can be well deployed. <\/span><\/p>\n

Related: Safe Speech<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

Now if you bear all of the above in mind, you may safely sally forth into society as long as your sojourn is brief and your maxims are 'cocked and locked.'<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The wise man abstains from an excess of socializing as from an excess of whisky; but just as a little whisky at the right time and in the right place is a delightful adjunct to a civilized life, so too is a bit of socializing. But he who quits his solitude to sally forth among … Continue reading “Some 19th Century Rules for Social Intercourse”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[39,40,72,465],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4176","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-human-predicament","category-literary-matters","category-sage-advice","category-solitude"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/maverickphilosopher.blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4176","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/maverickphilosopher.blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/maverickphilosopher.blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maverickphilosopher.blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maverickphilosopher.blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4176"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/maverickphilosopher.blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4176\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/maverickphilosopher.blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4176"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maverickphilosopher.blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4176"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/maverickphilosopher.blog\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4176"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}